OMFG that's too funny. Almost as random as Maddox's last rant. IMHO, it's possible to get the butcher...u just really have to work at it.
Cane was on the right track with the last 1/35 that's really a 1/36, after you get that, make sure you kill all the weapons (ruby + emerald, I believe), and then you're guys will get transported back to the chocobo ranch.
I haven't done it in a while... but if I remember correctly, the teleport is more like another mini-cloud dream sequence, where he slowly remembers where he is, and talks to the butcher outside of the ranch.
It takes a while to do all that... and first you have to get through the entire game up to that point with only using the Buster Sword and Bronze Bangle.