[FF7PC-98/Steam] Multiple mods and Modding Framework-The Reunion [R06f]

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Example of the niggles Charlie Beer is spotting. Luksy also looked at this one, and I've corrected it as follows:

Old
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--------------------------------------------------{CLOUD}“Then why doesn’t everyone  just move up above?”--------------------------------------------------{BARRET}“Dunno.  Probably got no money.  Or,maybe…”--------------------------------------------------{BARRET}“…’cause they love their land,  no matter how polluted it gets.”
New
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--------------------------------------------------{CLOUD}“Then why doesn’t everyone  just move up above?”--------------------------------------------------{BARRET}“Dunno.  Probably ain’t got enough money.  Or,maybe…”--------------------------------------------------{BARRET}“…’cause they don’t wanna live on a plate;  they want ground under their feet–  no matter how polluted it gets.”
Here's another:

Old
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Jessie“Speak of the devil…”{NEW}“That light means we’re passing  through an ID-check area.”“…psst…(When the lights go off, you never know what kind of creeps’ll come out.)”
New
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Jessie“Speak of the devil…”{NEW}“The red flashes mean  we’re passing through  an ID-check area.”--------------------------------------------------“…psst…(Since the lights go out,these trains are full of pervs who won’t keep their hands to themselves.)”
 
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Seems I missed a line or two from Luksy's source.  Gone back to it to double check.  This is more like it...  I will eventually get all this exposition to flow how I like.  I hate these exposition parts.  FF7 always crams it into one scene.

{BARRET}
“The world above…
  A city on a plate.”{NEW}
“It’s ’cause of that rotten pizza that
  the people below suffer so much.”
--------------------------------------------------
{BARRET}
“Mako pollution rains down
  on them.
  The air is filthy,
  'cause it has nowhere to go.
  An’ nothin’s bein’ done
  about it anymore,either.”
--------------------------------------------------
{BARRET}
“On top’a that,Mako reactors
  keep pumpin’ out energy.”{NEW}<<
“Thanks to them,
  the land’s completely barren.”
--------------------------------------------------
{CLOUD}
“Then why doesn’t everyone
  just move up above?”
--------------------------------------------------
{BARRET}
“Dunno.
  Probably ain’t got enough money.
  Or,maybe…”
--------------------------------------------------
{BARRET}
“…’cause they don’t wanna live up on a plate;
  they want the ground under their feet–
  no matter how poisoned it is.”
 
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This will do for now.  Bed time.  Charlie wasn't happy with the original, so I've modified it.

Original Game
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“Everyone climbed up this wire. Looks scary…Brrr.”------------------------------{TIFA}“Can we climb it?”   [lol...  yeah everyone climbed it but you can't....  What?]------------------------------“Yeah. It leads to the upper world.”------------------------------{BARRET}“Alright!  We'll climb the wire!”  ['Climb' used 3 times in 4 dialogues. Everyone climbed it. Can we climb it? We'll climb it.]------------------------------
Old Reunion
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“Everyone climbed  this and went above.  Must’ve had guts… Brrr.”------------------------------{TIFA}“Is it safe?”------------------------------“Yeah.  It leads to the world above.”------------------------------{BARRET}“All right!  We’re gonna climb this cable!”
New
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“My friends have gone up there.  They’ve got guts… Brrr.”------------------------------{TIFA}“They used the cable?”------------------------------“Yeah.  It leads to the world above.”------------------------------{BARRET}“All right!  It’s time to climb!”
 
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“Ohhh,that’s a real sweet set of
  wheels! Come on,honeeey?
  Just for me?”
------------------------------
“I’d love to,babe,but
  new cars are expensive.”
------------------------------

 :-D
 
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I assumed this NPC knew Aerith because he saw her coming into the Building.  But Charlie is likely right that this is part of the joke - that the NPC thinks the receptionist is called Aerith.  So:

Original Game:
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“{AERIS}? How did you know that name? You must be…”{NEW}“{AERIS}, you mean that kid. The receptionist? I was startin' to worry about her, too.”{NEW}“And so another rival appears on the scene, eh?”{NEW}“You mean, she's not? It's someone else?”
Old Reunion:
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“{AERIS}?  If you know about that,  you must be…!”{NEW}“{AERIS} is that girl,right?  The one who was at  reception? Thing is,I’ve  kinda taken to her myself.”{NEW}“So I guess you’re the rival  making his appearance,eh?”{NEW}“…Huh,that WASN’T who  you meant? Well,never  mind then.”
New:
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“{AERIS}!?  If you’re here about her,  you must…!”{NEW}“{AERIS} is the girl working at  reception,right?  And you’re  here to let me know I have  competition. Is that it?”{NEW}“…What? I’ve got it all wrong?  Well,uh,let’s just pretend this  conversation never happened,  okay?”
 
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Boy, that makes a LOT more sense. This scene was virtually unintelligible in the original, and even the old Reunion wasn't quite as clear as this.
 
The Japanese is "A rival making his appearance"  - like some corny love story.  But I don't think that really works as well in English, so I changed it to something that makes a little more sense.
 
The one thing I think works better in old reunion is the "you must be…!" part. It looks a little odd with just "you must" - you must what? Do something? Given the context I think the full sentence would be something like "you must be my rival!"
 
It's small fry because the lines after it make it absolutely clear what he was saying before he cut himself off. He wasn't saying he was the rival. He was likely saying "You must like her too".
 
Luksy did a better job on this than I did. I diverged too much from the meaning (because I leaned too heavily to the original text), as Charlie noted.  So I've used a lot of what Luksy wrote and amended it a bit.  Now we have:


Original game
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{CLOUD}“You going to brief us about this mission?”------------------------------Sephiroth“This isn't a typical mission.”------------------------------{CLOUD}“Good!”------------------------------Sephiroth“Why do you say that?”------------------------------{CLOUD}“I joined SOLDIER to be like you.”{NEW}“But by the time I made First Class, the war was already over.”{NEW}“My big hopes of becoming a hero like you ended with the war.”{NEW}“That's why I always sign up  whenever there's a big mission.  Kind of a way to prove myself.”------------------------------{CLOUD}“Say, how do you feel,  MISTER Sephiroth?”
Old Reunion
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{CLOUD}“Are you going to brief  us on the mission?”------------------------------#xy 168 48Sephiroth“This time our orders  are far from typical.”------------------------------#xy 80 152{CLOUD}“Good!”------------------------------#xy 160 56Sephiroth“Why do you say that?”------------------------------#xy 88 48{CLOUD}“I wanted to be like you.  That’s why I joined Soldier.”{NEW}“But by the time I made first class,  the war was already over.”{NEW}“My big hopes of becoming a hero  like you ended with the war.”{NEW}“I love these smaller missions.  They’re a way to prove myself.”------------------------------#xy 88 56{CLOUD}“Say,how does it feel… HERO?”
New
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{CLOUD}“Are you going to brief  us on the mission?”------------------------------#xy 168 48Sephiroth“This time our orders  are far from typical.”------------------------------#xy 80 152{CLOUD}“Good!”------------------------------#xy 160 56Sephiroth“Why do you say that?”------------------------------#xy 88 48{CLOUD}“I joined Soldier to be like you.”{NEW}“But by the time I made first class,  the war was over. It’s hard for  me to become a hero now.”{NEW}“That’s why I think missions like  this are important. I need to  show people what I can do.”------------------------------#xy 88 56{CLOUD}“How about you… hero?”
 
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Urgh, it's another one of those not so natural exposition pieces.  But I think I'm getting there.  Slowly.

#xy 88 48
{CLOUD}
“I joined Soldier to
  be like you—a hero.”{NEW}
“But by the time I made first class,
  the war was over. ”{NEW}
“That’s why I want to be on this
  type of mission. I need to prove
  myself.”
 
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Another step towards the goal...

I am so looking forward to replay the game and  have it make so much more sense!
 
Have been spending some of my spare time finding out how well other players have taken to the translation. It's generally been very positive but here's a criticism I came across recently:
The first mistranslation is when Reno comes into the church, interrupting what Aeris was saying. In Japanese, Aeris says:
タイミング、悪いなぁ
Which translates to "Talk about bad timing."
When you move closer to Reno, she says:
クラウド!かまっちゃダメ!
Which translates to "Cloud! Don't pay any attention to him!"
Then when you talk to him, he says:
オレにかまうな、だと
Which translates to "Don't pay any attention to me."

... the retranslation has them as
Aerith: It was just bad timing, that's all.
Aerith: Cloud, don't let it get to you.
Reno: Don't mind me, yeh
However, the retranslation actually re-scripts the game and has Reno appear AFTER Aeris says "It was just bad timing, that's all." So rather than fix the translation (which they obviously knew wasn't right), they changed the game itself. Image attached as proof of this.
...
Click to expand...
They also said that the next scene where Aerith & Cloud try to escape was handled well. However, it did leave me wondering whether the change to Leno's delayed entrance was intentional and if so what the story was behind it.
 
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