[FF7PC-98] The Reunion (OLD THREAD, SAVED FOR POSTERITY)

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Ooh, nice to see. I've always liked Hojo in the love to hate sort of way.
 
Going through the game irons out any niggles too, and also makes sure context errors are corrected.  Take this one:


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{CLOUD}“Yeah, I remember…”{CHOICE} You were selling flowers{CHOICE} You're the slum drunk <<<<
and her reply to it:
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“I don't remember a thing.”
I am making sure with Luksy, but I am sure this is along the lines of "You don't remember at all, do you!?"  It certainly isn't the above... she is responding to Cloud saying she was drunk.
 
In German she say something about having problems with her memory lately. I thought that this was a translation error and actually Cloud should say this as an    excuse.
 
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“As a specimen,she is inferior to her mother.  She's still being evaluated against her mother,  Ifalna,but for now the discrepancy is 18%.”
Click to expand...
Might I suggest removing the word "mother" from the second sentence in this line? Instead, make it look like this?

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"As a specimen, she is inferior to her mother.  She's still being evaluated against Ifalna,   but for now the discrepancy is 18%."
The re-use of "mother" sounds repetitive, and it kind of kills the flow of the line. I don't mean to sound rude, just trying to be helpful :D
 
I saw that.. but I didn't want to leave ambiguity. 

Tested this on someone who doesn't know the game, and they couldn't work out what Ifalna was from the above text.  So the above change leaves ambiguity there that wasn't there before....  it may be the lesser of 2 evils though.  Other variations also sound pretty bad.

edit 2.

OK here are the possibilities.  Choose one:


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"As a specimen, she is inferior to her mother.  She's still being evaluated against Ifalna,   but for now the discrepancy is 18%."

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“As a specimen,she is inferior to her  mother,Ifalna. I am still evaluating the  difference,but for now the discrepancy  is 18%.”
I think second works better.
 
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Also, as many of you know, I continually defend my position of sticking to what the translators wanted, rather than what I want (or what the original localiser wanted or what others want) because I don't feel anyone has the right to butcher someone else's work.  Luksy sent me this, from Tolkien, who talks about the dutch translation:

In principle I object as strongly as is possible to the 'translation' of the nomenclature at all (even by a competent person). I wonder why a translator should think himself called on or entitled to do any such thing. That this is an 'imaginary' world does not give him any right to remodel it according to his fancy, even if he could in a few months create a new coherent structure which it took me years to work out. [...] May I say at once that I will not tolerate any similar tinkering with the personal nomenclature. Nor with the name/word Hobbit.
Click to expand...
It is up to the writers what they want.  No translator has the right to change names or facts (without permission).  And that's the end word on that.  ;D
 
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I wouldn't bring in the name of Aerith mother. Hojo is a arrogant selfish person, who is obsessed by science. Using Ilfana in his report make it looks like he is caring about Aerith mother, what he simply doesn't. He doesn't even care about Aerith and do some crazy mating experiments with her.
 
He's comparing Aerith with her, and he does so in the Japanese :)  Her name is mentioned there.  I don't think it makes much difference to be honest...
 
This one is a bit sad...  the meaning of the passage has been lost really originally... According to Luksy, the last line is designed to be poignant because she is dead.  I think this is probably one of the things Sakaguchi can relate to (and me as well), that your mum will sometimes say she is always going to be there for you, and those words can bite you back if she then dies.

New:
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{CLOUD}“Yeah,I saw my mum.”------------------------------{CLOUD}“She… was full of energy.  Hadn't changed at all.”{NEW}“A few days  later,she died…”{NEW}“But when I saw her,  she was better than ever.”------------------------------{CLOUD}“Uh?”------------------------------“Yes?”------------------------------“{CLOUD}!?”------------------------------“Welcome home,  {CLOUD}!”------------------------------{CLOUD}“Hi,Mum.”------------------------------“Come,come…  Let your mum take  a good look at you!”------------------------------“Hmmm…”------------------------------“You look so charming.”------------------------------“So this is a  Soldier uniform?”------------------------------{CLOUD}“Mum,I…”------------------------------“Are you eating properly?”------------------------------{CLOUD}“I'm fine.  The company takes care of me.”------------------------------“Oh?”{NEW}“I know you can't cook…”{NEW}“I've been worried  sick about you.”------------------------------“Hey,{CLOUD}…”------------------------------“But you see,{CLOUD}…”------------------------------“…What do you think,{CLOUD}?”------------------------------“Remember…  I'll always be there for you.”
Old:
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{CLOUD}“Yeah, I saw my mom.”------------------------------{CLOUD}“My mom…she was a vibrant woman.   Hadn't changed at all.”{NEW}“But a few days later, she died…”{NEW}“But when I saw her, she looked fine.”------------------------------{CLOUD}“Uh?”------------------------------“Yes?”------------------------------“{CLOUD}!?”------------------------------“Welcome home, {CLOUD}!”------------------------------{CLOUD}“Hi, Mom.”------------------------------“Come, come…   Let me take a look at you!”------------------------------“Hmmm…”------------------------------“You look so handsome.”------------------------------“So is this a SOLDIER uniform?”------------------------------{CLOUD}“…Mom, I…”------------------------------“Are you eating right?”------------------------------{CLOUD}“I'm all right.   The Company takes care of me.”------------------------------“Is that so?”{NEW}“I know you can't cook…”{NEW}“I've been worried sick about you.”------------------------------“{CLOUD}?”------------------------------“You know, {CLOUD}…”------------------------------“…isn't that right, {CLOUD}?”------------------------------“I'll always be your mother…”
 
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I saw that.. but I didn't want to leave ambiguity. 

Tested this on someone who doesn't know the game, and they couldn't work out what Ifalna was from the above text.  So the above change leaves ambiguity there that wasn't there before....  it may be the lesser of 2 evils though.  Other variations also sound pretty bad.

edit 2.

OK here are the possibilities.  Choose one:


Code: [Select]
Code: 
"As a specimen, she is inferior to her mother.  She's still being evaluated against Ifalna,   but for now the discrepancy is 18%."

Code: [Select]
Code: 
“As a specimen,she is inferior to her  mother,Ifalna. I am still evaluating the  difference,but for now the discrepancy  is 18%.”
I think second works better.
Click to expand...
I'd go with the second, as well. Eliminates ambiguity and repetition and keeps meaning.

Love the quote from Tolkien!
 
I'd go with the second, as well. Eliminates ambiguity and repetition and keeps meaning.
Click to expand...
I agree! Your re-wording of suggestion I made not only keeps the flow going, but loses none of the information in the process. Awesome!
 
Another one that I think sounds a lot better now:

New
“What with the end of the world
  and all,I thought I'd hire more
  cute girls,but it was a big mistake…”{NEW}
“Now I'm up to my eye balls in debt.
  I wish I could get out of paying 'em
  somehow. Maybe one of those
  Weapons will come help me out?”

Old:
“I hired more girls after hearing
   that the world's coming to an end,
   but I wonder if I should have.”{NEW}
“I keep getting more and more in debt.
   I've got to get out from under it somehow.
   Maybe I'll have Weapon help me.”
 
Eyeballs is one word, at least in American English. Maybe it's two words outside of America, or it is accepted both ways. I just thought I'd let you know in case it was an actual typo.
 
So it is.  A lot of things have been made into 1 word.  I don't like that, but you are right.  8-) Eye ball should be 2 words, don't care what "any-one" says ;)  ;D  I'll fix it.  It's these kind of things a follow up by people playing the game will help with.
 
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Oh man, Dan, don't feel bad. I frequently have to check a dictionary when it comes to compound... or worse, flipping hyphenated words. Betas are beyond helpful for things like that in writing, as I imagine outside input will be for this. XD I don't know about British English, but American English is a total mess if you ask me and I feel so much pity for people trying to learn the language.
 
I don't like American English for the following reason really:

It looks like a child has got hold of the spellings in some places (neighbor, color etc)  but at same time, there is a logic to simplifying English to the sounds..  the thing is, if you're going to do that, then why not do it with all the words, like autumn and so forth.  It seems a bit silly to just pick a few words and change them.  The -ize endings are actually probably more correct than -ise, but again, some words in American English then go on to retain the -ise which just makes the problem bigger.

I suppose I also don't like another country meddling with English.  :-D  But I can hardly complain too much since English is an amalgamation of several languages fused into one.
 
That amalgamate thing is why its so messed up, pretty sure regardless of 'purity'. I'm someone that fights for the evolution of language and as long as I can understand what's being said and its not chatspeak I don't care (chatspeak bugs the hell out of me even when I can understand it. XD) It can make some pretty hilarious problems though - my favaorite is how apparently in British English 'ejaculate' can mean tame things like 'bursted' or 'yelled'... when someone forgets to 'Americanize' a passage in Harry Potter though an entirely different impression of Ron gets given... XD

But this is totally off topic, so I'll drop it here (feel free to PM me to continue though! I love talking about languages. XD)
 
I was wondering about how the retranslation is installed. Is the dialogue in the flevel, or does makou reactor read the dialogue from another file? If it's the flevel will this be added to the current file, or does it replace it? I'm wondering how compatible this is with Kaldarashas community flevel project and other flevel changing mods.
 
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