[SPOILERS] Star Wars Episode 7: Ticking All The Wrong Boxes [SPOILERS]

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  • Fan servicing (past character returning.  Think Advent Children for another example)
  • Worse fan servicing ("Darth Vader" is back. Yeah, I know it's not him, but it is, isn't it!?)
  • CGI crap that looks utterly fake and appeals to lowest common denominator
  • Heavy emphasis on explosions and out of control action sequences because they are likely compensating for lack of decent pacing / plot (think Advent Children and Star Wars Prequels)


All the hallmarks are there, people.  It's up to you whether you part with your money, but I'd strongly suggest waiting for some proper feedback before being conned by what is, imho, another complete cash-in.  I'm fed up with this crap. Watch Plinkett's reviews and you'll realize why we've seen this all before and why it never works out.  I am waiting for the day that CGI and graphics lose their ability to sell.  Surely even the dumb masses around today are finally getting sick of it?

I'll be very surprised if the film is anywhere close to the standard of Ep 4-6.  VERY.

Edit.

And I was right. No surprises.
 
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I hope it blows your mind. I tend to get excited for things first and let down after the fact. Maybe I'm an optimist. CGI is only getting better each year, surely you wouldn't want them to go back to little models on strings for space ships?
 
Like the LOTR originals, models can work in a LOT of areas, and using real locations is also a must.  Using CGI for things like locations and so on looks utterly fake.  Modern day sculpting and modelling is far better with the aid of computer technology, as LOTR proved. LOTR also showed how costumes and make up look real, while the Hobbit used CGI and it looked crap.

I doubt it's going to blow my mind because I can already see the signature of failure stamped on that trailer.  But we'll see.
 
I was the biggest Star Wars fan back in the day. I loved all the games that I played and I read the books and own the original and new trilogies on Blu-Ray.

I will have NOTHING to do with this Disney trilogy. Disney buying Lucas Arts was the worst thing to happen to Star Wars since Jar Jar Binks. I have 0 desire to watch anything related to it. I haven't even seen a trailer and I know I'd hate it if I did. I've seen two stills from episode 7 and they are appalling for every reason DLPB mentioned.
I had the same misgivings about the J.J. Abram's Star Trek movies and they were correct. Those were terrible movies. They took everything I liked about Star Trek and did the exact opposite. It's all "eye candy, eye candy, eye candy" now and I've been sick of that since the first 10 minutes of Avatar. :(
 
100% agreed on the Star Trek reboot, as well, NFITC1. I knew it was going to be a load of style over substance from day 1, and when I saw that these were being directed by the same man, I just rolled my eyes.
 
  • CGI crap that looks utterly fake and appeals to lowest common denominator
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Did you even watch the new teaser? Or read the several interviews? Abrams has really heavily emphasized the use of practical effects, not CGI, and most (albeit not all) of these effects shown look practical to me.

The rest of your points are moot because this is still just a teaser; it's not uncommon for teasers and trailers to show the most fanservicey bits of a movie, rather than something indicative of the tone and style of the film as a whole. It's ridiculous to assume that just because of the trailer. Hell, even just from the director; keep in mind he was also responsible for Fringe, which was all about well-written characters and interesting plots.

I'm not saying it won't turn out like everything you said, but we don't have nearly enough to go on to make those assumptions.

What we do have to go on is that Abrams is well aware that the prequel trilogy wasn't exactly well received, and while he hasn't outright said it, he has hinted that he himself thinks they weren't very good. I'd be very surprised if he's not specifically targeting the problems those movies had. My prediction for the new trilogy based on currently-available media (both trailers and interviews) is that it won't near live up to the originals, but it'll still be leagues better than the prequel trilogy.
 
I did, yes. The CGI looks like most CGI does - nothing near reality.  Lazy. The battle sequences are just as bad as the Prequels - Nothing has been learned. And what about that new light saber... which is a light sword.  It makes absolutely no sense to have a handle like that.  It's just another moronic selling point to fanboys who drool over light sabers. To me that is another sign that the writer is not thinking about what is relevant or what is in the best interest of the story, but more getting as many Star Wars fans to the cinema. In typical J.J. Abrams fashion, he’s invented an image that he thinks is “cool” without bothering to think through the logic of it.

I won't base my views around what Abrams says (because, frankly, I am sure his overwhelming concern is raking in cash and I also find him totally over rated)... I base it around what I have already seen and know about this new episode.  In my view, it's overwhelmingly likely to suck. All the bad tick boxes are there in my first post, and they are all ticked.  The very fact the trailer focuses almost entirely on eye candy is a symptom of the bigger picture.  This episode is not aimed at telling a faithful story - if it were, it wouldn't need to use cheap tactics like recasting old codgers from the much better trilogy.  Not only that, adding that Darth Vader fan service just takes the biscuit. Star Wars has flown... it flew after Jedi.  The exact same team and ethos are not present and I've seen how "good" Abrams is with that Star Trek film, it was piss poor. I am also told he had a hand in that disaster "Lost".

edit.

Actually, we can add another to my list.  The name "The force awakens".  It sounds so amateur, like something a really bad writer would come up with. 

But in any case, there's no way I can *prove* it's going to be bad, I can only go on what I've seen and heard.  But don't be surprised if I turn out to be right. How many of these are they making anyway?  Another 3?  Talk about milking the name dry.
 
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I think you are trying to hate this movie a little hard, so is the guy in that vid. You could make statements like that about any movie trailer and make it look stupid.

"Ooooh look, that person is wearing a wrist watch and they just showed a pile of dirt, this movie must be pointless because I foresee what the plot is and anything canon to the franchise is dumb"

What needs to be recognized is that this new movie isn't going to be The Original Movies v2.0. It is made by mostly different cast, crew and writers while also being produced in a totally different era of film making. It is just a different beast that should probably be judged objectively by how it stands on its own. If the movie really sucks, then fine, I'll join in on this hate party. Until then, this is all just pessimistic speculation.

For the record, I think it is impossible to satisfy a person's "chasing the dragon" of nostalgia for a series, when that feeling itself can only materialize through the passage of time. Any new film wouldn't stand a chance. That nostalgia is what turns fanboys into crude haters.
"This successor isn't giving me the feeling that "X" thing did before, its different therefore it sucks"

When you first played FF7, it wasn't nearly as special or interesting as when you looked back on it several years later amirite?
 
I based it on observations and of the past history of its director.  That's more than what you think I based it on. My problem with the prequels is nothing to do with nostalgia, and everything to do with bad decisions and poor writing. I've also listed my reasons for believing Episode VII is going to suck. It comes from typical warning signs that are all being seen, like the director, the whole pandering to fanboys, and generally the way most films are made these days.  I have no hope whatsoever based on what I am seeing.  Everyone is falling for it yet again, though, so yay!  I've seen all these warning signs before and it never turns out good.  Ever.

And yeah, FF7 has remained to me a well written tale since 1997. So has the original Star Wars. The Prequels still suck, and I am confident this will as well.
 
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Wait a second, I think I see a pattern here.  Have you liked anything that's happened in the past 15 years? :P
 
I can see some of your points but like it's been said this is a completely different era.  Also George is the main consultant on this series.  They are contracted to come out with a movie like every two years so there is a lot more to come.  Plus the REBOOT movies are meant to target to a different set of audience and they don't give a damn about opinion.  Since they went with a pretty big villain in the second movie should same something.  A lot of people liked the new Star Trek even some hardcore fans.  You don't have to like it but those are the facts.  I don't have high hopes for the movies either but I'll reserve my judgment for an actual release.  Well those are my two cents so peace have a good weekend all.
 
Wait a second, I think I see a pattern here.  Have you liked anything that's happened in the past 15 years? :P
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Yes ;)

From 2000 onwards:

Game of Thrones
The Big Bang Theory (Season 1-3, and some of the rest)
The LOTR trilogy, mostly

I have not seen Breaking Bad

I am sure there are more, but it's very few and far between.  I liked Truman Show a lot, but that's 1998. 

It's true I don't like much these days, but that's because the standard itself has dropped significantly in the last decade. I hardly ever concentrate on or review films that I thought were good because I expect big budget movies to be good regardless.  That's the contract I enter into with a big budget movie... I don't expect to be robbed or swindled. There are, however, some films that insult my intelligence far more than others, for example:

Battlestar Gallactica (new series)
Lost
Minority Report
Star Wars Prequels
Transformers
Avatar
The Matrix Sequels
Saw
Final Destination (perhaps more the useless sequels)
Armageddon
2001 Space Odyssey
Dr Strangelove
Knowing
Titanic (at least the set design and sinking were great)
The Hobbit Trilogy
All the new James Bonds
Dark Knight Rises
Terminator 3 +
Pan's Labyrinth
New Star Treks

I'll stop there... but it is a huge list.  And that's because most modern films are nearly entire illogical CGI and battle fests designed to pull in as many people as possible. Whilst I agree there are some older films that also sucked (like the 2 above), the last decade has gone into meltdown with all these graphic fests that won't survive the test of time.

My favourite are:

The Good the Bad and the Ugly
Babylon 5 (TV Series)
The Big Bang Theory (S1-3)
Game of Thrones (TV Series / Books)
The Wicker Man (1970s)
The Dollar trilogy in general
The Shawshank Redemption
Star Wars Ep 4-6
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
The Silence of the Lambs
The Green Mile
Alien
The Sting
Toy Story 1,2,3 (Mainly 1)
Beauty and the Beast
Aladdin
Groundhog Day
The Sixth Sense
LOTR Trilogy
Jaws
Most of the old Bonds
Back to the Future Trilogy
Total Recall (old film)
Predator
Terminator 1 and 2
The Truman Show
The Matrix (somewhat)
 
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You like Big Bang Theory?

I know it's a popular show but I actually don't know anybody in my social circles that actually likes it, general consensus is that it tries too hard and the unnaturally long gaps in the dialogue to put in the canned laughter only wakes it worse.

I don't hate it myself, just never got into it.

Sex and Death I do like though (yes, I mean Game of Thrones)


As for the actual main topic, I will probably go and see it, I just won't get excited for it, same goes for Batman vs Superman, I really enjoy superhero stuff and the Daredevil series on Netflix was really good, but that trailer is just awful and the Bat suit, while trying to emulate Dark Knight Returns' old and fat Bruce Wayne, it only serves to make a regular sized actor look like he just ate an entire restaurant chain out of business.
 
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An episode of The Big Bang Theory sans the laugh track - it's pretty painful to watch.
 
An episode of The Big Bang Theory sans the laugh track - it's pretty painful to watch.
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It isn't a laugh track, from what I remember.  It's a live audience. It is NOT canned laughter, there's a difference.  Like with Red Dwarf.
 
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It's both. They have a live audience, but often don't use that track, and supplement it with canned laughter.
 
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