[FF7PC-98/Steam] Multiple mods and Modding Framework-The Reunion [R06f]

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I think dropping the "that" and "has" sounds the most natural.

“I still can’t believe one
  of theirs joined a group
  like Avalanche!”

Just me though.
 
I think dropping the "that" and "has" sounds the most natural.

“I still can’t believe one
  of theirs joined a group
  like Avalanche!”

Just me though.
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I would leave 'has' because without it, it sounds like something that happened in the distant past. I do agree it sounds a little unnatural, but I feel it sounds a bit clearer for the exposition.
 
I've gone with four. 

I'm not sure removing that makes it better... it feels wrong.  But either would work.
But the more I think about it the more it sounds better without it.  I dunno...  this happens a lot.  :-D
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Maybe the issue of including "that" is a question of British vs. American English?  It definitely sounds more natural to us Yanks without the that.
 
I would leave 'has' because without it, it sounds like something that happened in the distant past. I do agree it sounds a little unnatural, but I feel it sounds a bit clearer for the exposition.
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That's precisely it.  There can be no compromise on clarity at this point in the game.  The "has" HAS to stay.  It has to be made clear that he has joined now.
 
That's precisely it.  There can be no compromise on clarity at this point in the game.  The "has" HAS to stay.  It has to be made clear that he has joined now.
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I guess that's your answer then. Remove the 'that' in the sentence, leave everything else alone and consider that section done for good.
 
I guess that's your answer then. Remove the 'that' in the sentence, leave everything else alone and consider that section done for good.
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Hehehe... and if you have another itching that it's bothering you, drown it in a pint of Guinness, then spam the Discord ;)
 
"But Soldier are the enemy" can't be right. Where's covarr
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It's correct in the same manner that saying "The data are...." is correct.  An individual member of SOLDIER *is* the enemy, but as an organization, SOLDIER *are* the enemy.
 
This is probably the American thing again where they generally tend to use "is" for both organization and members.  British allows "is" for the organization and "are" when referring to the members. And even that's probably not universal...  you'll likely find it differs by location. 

Covarr has already looked over the entire text, so unless he's missed it, it's fine. If not, it will just go on the American option.

Microsoft is planning to
Microsoft are planning to

The former is the organization
The latter refers to its members

Not sure this latest text is the same thing really.
 
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This is probably the American thing again where they generally tend to use "is" for both organization and members.  British allows "is" for the organization and "are" when referring to the members. And even that's probably not universal...  you'll likely find it differs by location.
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Could be... kinda makes you wonder how the two keep getting reversed like that.  Then there's the whole 'u' thing in words like colo(u)r, or 'er' versus 're' (center/centre).

Maybe the Aussies were on to something when they went and hacked the whole thing to pieces, just so they could get words like crikey :D
 
I reported this already, but perhaps not in the right place? Anyhoo, I was watching a longplay of your mod (R05C I believe) and feel one of Cloud's lines on the Highwind following his "moment" with Tifa needs a minor revision:

Tifa:
"This airship is way too big for just the two of us."
"It feels so lonely without the others."

Cloud:
"Don't worry, it'll be okay."
"I'll make a big enough noise for everyone."

In the original translation he says he'll "make a big enough ruckus for everyone." Even if "noise" is more accurate, "making…a ruckus" (or "raising…a ruckus") is an actual idiom, whereas "making…a noise," though grammatically correct, is just awkward phrasing given the context. Cloud is talking about making the Highwind appear more lively than it really is, so revising his line to something more like "I'll make enough noise for everyone," would better communicate that.
 
There is a compromise: changed "has" to an apostrophe S
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Because "theirs's" is not a real word. There's your answer.

Now don't use the report button to try and get attention to your posts. It's not meant for that.
 
I reported this already, but perhaps not in the right place? Anyhoo, I was watching a longplay of your mod (R05C I believe) and feel one of Cloud's lines on the Highwind following his "moment" with Tifa needs a minor revision:

Tifa:
"This airship is way too big for just the two of us."
"It feels so lonely without the others."

Cloud:
"Don't worry, it'll be okay."
"I'll make a big enough noise for everyone."

In the original translation he says he'll "make a big enough ruckus for everyone." Even if "noise" is more accurate, "making…a ruckus" (or "raising…a ruckus") is an actual idiom, whereas "making…a noise," though grammatically correct, is just awkward phrasing given the context. Cloud is talking about making the Highwind appear more lively than it really is, so revising his line to something more like "I'll make enough noise for everyone," would better communicate that.
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It's being discussed already a few pages back. However, you better wait for R06 since all the text is being already updated.

quote from DLPB: "I'm not really in the business of taking feedback on dialogue though - esp from R05c"
 
No, because then you have

"You're from Soldier"
"I can't believe a Soldier"
 and then Jessie's "Soldier are the enemy"

Which also looks ridiculous.  Three Soldier uses in 3 successive dialogues.
...
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If the issue is repetition (I agree), how about a stand-in phrase like:

#xy 8 8
Biggs
“Wow…
  You’re from Soldier,all right.”{NEW}
“I still can’t believe that one
  of Shin-Ra's elite has joined
  a group like Avalanche!”
 
Can't do that.  It's cheating too far and then the later entry mentioning he quit Shin-Ra is redundant. The idea is you learn what Soldier are later in the game.  At this point, the mention of Shin-Ra and Soldier is to tease you into what their connection is. The lines above work well enough.  Yours would be better if I could cheat  ;)
 
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It seems like it just needs an additional noun to make it work. Something like 'one of their ... recruits/members/veterans/officers' but more vague. 'One of their/your number/ilk/kind'. Hmm...
 
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"One of their guys" could work. I'm def not using One of their boys.

There's still nothing wrong with the current.  It's a normal sentence.
 
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