This first bit must have been looked at now 10 times... it's just so hard to get it to sound natural when there is so much exposition so fast... not to mention the original Japanese sounds clunky.
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District 1,Station--------------------------------------------------Biggs“Wow! You're from Soldier all right!”{NEW}“…Hard to believe one of theirs has joined a group like Avalanche!”--------------------------------------------------Jessie“…Soldier? But they're the enemy…”--------------------------------------------------Jessie“What's he doing with us in Avalanche?”--------------------------------------------------Biggs“Hang on,Jessie,he quit Shin-Ra.”--------------------------------------------------Biggs“I didn't catch your name…”--------------------------------------------------{CLOUD}“…{CLOUD}.”--------------------------------------------------Biggs“{CLOUD},eh? I'm…”--------------------------------------------------{CLOUD}“I'm not interested in names. Once this job's done,I'm outta here.”--------------------------------------------------“The hell you all doin'!? I told ya…! Never move in a group!”--------------------------------------------------“Our target's Mako Reactor 1. Meet up at the bridge in front of it.”--------------------------------------------------“Ex-Soldier,huh? Don't trust ya!”--------------------------------------------------{BARRET}“You can run by holdin' {PURPLE}[Cancel]{WHITE} with the {PURPLE}[DIRECTIONS]{WHITE}. Keep up!”
That's about as good as I can make it. I've had to cheat in 3 places:
Japanese is more "Aren't they the enemy" which is just something Jessie would never say (because she knows who the enemy is... i mean, there'd be a problem wouldn't there if she didn't even know that hahaha) and sounds stupid.
Japanese uses "joined an Anti-Shin-Ra group like Avalanche" The original English also missed this off because it sounds clunky. The Shin-Ra connection is made elsewhere anyway.
Japanese has extra line after "He's quit Shin-Ra" which is "He's with us now"
but that simply doesn't work.
“What's he doing with us in Avalanche?” < She knows he is with them. She's just said so.
“Hang on,Jessie,
he quit Shin-Ra.
He's with us now.”
Looks wrong.